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Porch Chickens, Chicquariums, Violas, and Pokebators. | Speedkin

Porch Chickens, Chicquariums, Violas, and Pokebators.

I dare you to find another title on the internet like that.

So last night was our big, end-of-year homeschool shindig.  The kids sang and played music for us and we got to look at all of their artwork.  Now I have not a single artistic bone in my body so I’m am always downright amazed at the things accomplished!  And the teachers?  I’m pretty sure they’re the most amazing women on the planet, always coming up with new ideas and then actually herding the kids in the proper artistic direction while still allowing them to do their own thang.   I have no idea how they do it.  I was completely skipped over when that mommy gene was handed out.  Me no grok.

So how do I contribute to the homeschool coop?  Ah, see, my great talent is sitting in the nursery doing nothing but watching some really stinking cute young kids for a couple of hours each week.  That’s it.  I sit.  I flap my jaws at a friend who is in there with me.  I giggle at the kids’ antics.  And that’s it.  So what does one of these amazing superwoman teachers do?  She bought each of her kids’ teachers a big, ol’ potted plant with gorgeous flowers.  And she bought on for me, too.  Can you believe that?  I’m still in shock — in a good way.  It completely made my day.  She does all of these great things for & with my kids and she bought me a flowery gift.  I’m a loser and never think of doing thoughtful things like that — but I’m a happy, grinning, giddy loser.  :-D  I LOVE my flowers and will get warm fuzzies forevermore when I gaze upon them.  Once it warms up, I think I’ll hang them on my front porch.

Wanna see them?


Violas.  I know nothing about them, other than I love, love, love looking at them.  I’ve always wanted some!  I’ll have to do some reading up on their care so I don’t kill them.

Wait a minute…  What is that the violas are sitting on?  Hmmm….


Yeah, you caught me.  I bought chicks.  I happened to be in the feed store yesterday and noticed they were clearancing out their chicks.  Bam.  Ten Buff Orpingtons hopped in my cart through no fault of my own.  Once I managed to break the news to Steve, he weakened and suggested we might go back after the kids’ concert and see what was left.  Bam.  Eleven more Buff Orpingtons jumped into our cart, through no fault of my own.  So we’re now the proud owners of 21 Buff Orpingtons, supposedly all pullets.  Because we don’t have enough birds.

Which is why I also fired up the Pokebator.  Fifteen Icelandics are working their way towards hatching.


Birds are cool and you can’t have too many.  If you’re lucky, you, too, might end up with a Porch Chicken.  That one bird who flaps to her own beat, refusing to go into the coop each night.  Instead, she perches on random crap you leave on your porch.  And poops.  All night long.


Then you’re forced to leave the piles of crap on the porch because, if you move it, she’ll have no place to roost.  And then the other birds that still free range, during the day, figure that the porch must be quite the cool place to be and decide to hang out there as well.  Pooping all day long.

And people have this romantic idea of free range birds.  Ha, I say.  Ha.

8 Responses to “Porch Chickens, Chicquariums, Violas, and Pokebators.”

  1. Jessica April 27, 2013 at 3:43 pm #

    Aawww. Keep that instruction tag. That’ll make you a viola expert befor long. Next thing you ‘ll be figuring how to grow your own, putting them in your salad or fermenting them.

    • Diane April 27, 2013 at 9:39 pm #

      I did a quick search on them right before bedtime after you mentioning them being edible. After reading that both the flowers and leaves are edible, the kids tried both. Not bad, they decided!

  2. Tracy Meyer April 27, 2013 at 4:20 pm #

    You took all my buff orpington chicks. Ugh. Now what am I going to do? Oh yeah, not buy more chicks for cat treats. That’s what. LOL! I’ll just get some lovely eggs out of your Buffs next year and hatch them. LOL!

    • Diane April 27, 2013 at 9:41 pm #

      I know, we’re BO hogs! It’s Steve’s fault. Alllll Steve’s fault. We have some BOs already and I was going to get some eggs out of of them for hatching but we don’t have a BO roo. And, really, for as cheap as they were, who wants to mess with hatching?

  3. Hollie April 27, 2013 at 7:08 pm #

    Just pick her up and put her in with the other birds….she’ll soon catch on……….and buff chicks are the cutest…they turn into fat round fluffy birds with a golden color. I’m so jealous! We are at a stalemate on the house…out offer, then his and back and forth…I’m beginning to think this is never gonna work out…….love the pics and your story that goes with them…always have to have my “Speedkin” fix.


    • Diane April 27, 2013 at 9:47 pm #

      Yeah, I know we could convince her to start sleeping in the coop but she’s kinda cute out there. LOL Okay, maybe not the piles of poop but the rest of the birds crap up the porch anyway. She’s nice & safe there because she’s right next to the dogs and she knows to run to them to protect her if something creepy comes up.

      Sorry to hear about the stalemate! I was so hoping there was some progress. Those dang geese are getting loud and obnoxious. LOL And I think Marty Stuart is gone. :-( We had a bobcat snarling at us a few nights back. I’m not sure if that’s what got him or if it was coons or hawks or eagles or… He was still free ranging.

  4. Robin April 28, 2013 at 6:33 am #

    Violas are easy. Find a good place for them and they’ll self sow on their own and you’ll never know where they’ll pop up next.

    I feel the same way you do about our homeschool co-op moms. They are A.Mazing. We’ve got three weeks left. Thanks for reminding me to get them something!

    • Diane April 28, 2013 at 7:52 pm #

      Ah, self seeding. Good to know, thanks!

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